Buharism: The Definition of Cluelessness By Reno Omokri

 Buharism: The Definition of Cluelessness  By Reno Omokri
As you read this, the news has just filtered in that herdsmen just killed another 27 Nigerian citizens in Plateau state. But do not worry, the Nigerian government is dealing with the terrorist Indigenous People of Biafra AKA IPOB! 

I am sorry if I seems to be trivializing the deaths in Plateau state, but the situation is just ridiculous to say the least. These murderous herdsmen continue to maraud and pillage and the feeble response of President Buhari is to urge the police and security agencies to stop 'this madness'.

Rhetoric. All we get is rhetorics. How many herdsmen have been arrested, prosecuted and convicted as a result of the President's many directives to the police and the security agencies? The answer is between zero and few.

Nigeria is the world's only nation where herdsmen who kill citizens are left alone while secessionists who do not kill are labeled terrorists!

If herdsmen are not terrorists then what are they? Are they a charitable group donating free bullets to Nigerians by shooting it into their bodies? 

Herdsmen are killing Nigerians in Plateau state while the Nigerian soldiers who should protect them are carrying out unwanted medical outreaches down South! 

Why can't President Buhari divert the soldiers he sent to the South, where no one is killing or dying, to Plateau to deal with killer herdsmen? But what am I even saying? If the President's wife complains that the State House Clinic cannot help her or her family, how can you believe President Muhammadu Buhari can help you or your family in Plateau state or anywhere else in Nigeria?

And instead of facing these issues, the President keeps narrowcasting his blame game to a rapidly shrinking audience. 

Just two days ago, the Presidency released a statement blaming the People’s Democratic Party for the restructuring agitations in the country. Perhaps the President's memory is fading and he has forgotten that it was precisely him and his party that campaigned on the issue of restructuring. 

But of course, President Buhari never disappoints. He always knows who to blame for the problem and never knows who will solve the problem.

Where real leaders have a solution for every problem, Buhari has someone to blame for every problem. Not everyone with a title is a leader!

And the saddest thing is that like all insecure leaders, President Muhammadu Buhari is now using instruments of state power to intimidate rivals who want to compete for space within the leadership plinth with him.

Atiku Abubakar showed interest. NPA cancels his contract. Tinubu eyes the Presidential seat. SEC announces audit of Oando. Fayose declares interest in 2019 and within 2 hours the EFCC arrested his finance people to cripple him. Ibe Kachikwu threatened President Buhari's reelection by exposing the deep corruption in the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation and within days his house was literally on fire. Will 2019 be an election or war? 

Sadly, all those who thought Muhammadu Buhari was the messiah now know the difference between a messiah and a messier. Buhari was and is no Messiah. He only came to make Nigeria Messier!

In the five years that he GOVERNED Nigeria, President Goodluck Jonathan spent ?16 trillion. The economy grew. Naira was stable. We had the greatest expansion of infrastructure since the Gowon years and inflation was at single digit.

In the two years that President Muhammadu Buhari has RULED Nigeria, he has spent ?15 trillion. We have had recession. Naira collapsed. Inflation has gone back to double digits and the only infrastructure that he has started and completed is the Daura helipad.

Yet Buhari called Jonathan clueless but Jonathan has not called Buhari clueless. See life?

Why should Dr. Goodluck Jonathan even bother calling President Buhari clueless? When even the President's Wife complains of the State House Clinic under his own nose. Can cluelessness be more domestic than that? 

And then while we were grappling with this monumental show of incompetence as exposed by his wife, along comes the World Bank President, Jim Yong Kim, who revealed that the President told him to focus the attention of the bank on Northern Nigeria.

This is what Mr. Kim said "You know, in my very first meeting with President Buhari he said specifically that he would like us to shift our focus to the northern region of Nigeria and we’ve done that.  Now, it has been very difficult. The work there has been very difficult".

And when the rest of the country was justifiably upset with this nepotistic behaviour, the Presidency, rather than pacify the nation, released a very belligerent statement insulting those who dared to question what the President said.

But if the Presidency says the President of the World Bank misinterpreted President Muhammadu Buhari's request urging the bank to focus on Northern Nigeria, then how come 14 out of 17 leadership positions in the military are held by Northerners? How come 36 out of 55 recent top NNPC appointment went to Northerners? How come the Kano-Daura rail was approved while the rail links in Southeast were not funded? How come IPOB are declared terrorists and the army sent after them but Herdsmen are not and grazing reserves planned for them?

According to an investigation carried about The PUNCH Newspaper in their edition of Sunday the 15th of October 2017, no World Bank project has been "specifically designed for" the South South, South East or Middle Belt since President Muhammadu Buhari assumed power. 

According to Punch, only the core North and the Southwest have had specific projects under the Buhari administration. It seems the World Bank abided by President Buhari's 97% versus 5% directive for them to 'focus on the North'. 

The funniest thing is that these World Bank projects that are 'focused on the North' are loans that will be paid back by all of us!

And this cluelessness pervades the whole administration.

Babatunde Raji Fashola once said a serious government will fix power sector in 6 months. He has been a minister for 2 years, can we conclude that he's unserious? All Progressives Congress once said that ?216 to $1 under Jonathan was unacceptable. Today I ask if ?370 to $1 is acceptable? President Muhammadu Buhari went to Chatham House to condemn public officials who go abroad for healthcare. Today he is Africa's biggest health tourist to London. Nasir El-Rufai mocked Jesus our Lord on Twitter and insulted Goodluck Jonathan while praying. Today he is notorious for jailing his critics! So next time the APC promises you anything, take it with a bucket of salt!

The truth, which I have always known, is that Muhammadu Buhari is as clueless as they come. If you doubt me, go to the State House Clinic and ask for ordinary panadol!

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